As a little girl schoolwork made sense to me so quickly that I didn’t want to work hard at it. Instead I read grown up books, did tomboy stuff, and fought with boys if they called me “just a girl”. My mother thought I could make something of my life if only I studied a little. And she was rapidly running out of ideas to keep me at my desk ?.

So out of desperation one day Ma took me to interview for private tutorial. I say ‘interview’ because that’s what it was. The tutor ran a HUGELY successful full-time science tutoring business. He had administrative staff but taught every class himself. He was renowned. Needless to say there were long queues when he opened enrolment each year. I stood in one such queue with Ma. Kids staring at books, memorising facts. Parents anxious about admission. Ma took me in when it was my turn. She looked just as anxious as the rest of them.

I remember it like a scene from a film. I can tell you exactly where he sat, what he wore, how he talked. He reviewed my report cards, asked me a bunch of questions, then he looked at Ma and said he wouldn’t take me. Ma started to insist: she will make sure I worked hard, she would ensure I attended every lesson.

Half way through he raised his hand to stop all that. “You don’t understand, Mrs Chatterjee. Suravi has no aptitude whatsoever. She has no future in Science. She will never have a career in it.” Ma was apoplectic. How could he write a child off like that, she demanded. I remember finding all of that comical though Ma was getting angrier by the minute.

The tutor continued non-plussed, “She is a happy child. Teach her home economics or home science. She has a good future as a wife. Maybe even some unskilled desk job somewhere. But nothing more. Her IQ isn’t that high.”

I wasn’t bothered that he called me stupid. I found it funny he said I cannot grasp science (I was working through my Dad books & the chap refused to believe it. Chalking it up to something my Dad taught me to say!).

I remember Ma marching out of his office, ranting about it for days! I suppose the Tutor thought he was being honest so none of us had any false hope. Fast forward a few decades & I happened see a social media post about that tutor today!! Talk about a blast from the past!

One of his students posted a selfie with him. Said the tutor was the reason the student is who he is today. Wow, I thought! He must have been a great teacher. You know I don’t hold it against him that he thought I was stupid AF! But I do think he was mistaken.

After 3 advanced Science degrees, 2 careers in science, and as one of 100 faces of Mensa (needs an IQ in the top 2% of the population), I have evidence the chap was mistaken. Yet he was so certain of his 30-minute analysis of a child he considered too stupid for anything!

Ya know, we have all been at the receiving end of a “worth analysis”. Told not good enough in something or another. Sometimes though we end up taking this flawed analysis to heart. Ends up shaping what we believe about ourselves, and ultimately what we believe we can do.

I tell you this story with two hopes-

First, for those who have believed someone else’s flawed analysis that they can’t (enter ability here)- it’s probably not true.

And second for those who are in the business of making such pronouncements- it’s your job & I empathise with you. But please let your feedback be tempered by the knowledge that you can get the wrong measure of a person. No matter how sure you are of your perspective. 🙂 not everyone will find it as funny as I did!